Interviewing Is Cold, Harsh And Can Destroy Your Confidence — Here Is How To Fight Back

Original source – Forbes

In our society, we prize money, power and success. Those who fall short and have not attained a certain measure of career achievement are viewed in a negative light. Sadly, they are seen—to some—as lazy, unambitious and lacking intelligence.

When it comes to interviewing, this prevailing societal view has significant negative repercussions on the job seeker’s psyche.

The interview process is a cold and critical beauty pageant. You are ogled and harshly judged on each perceived blemish and flaw. The interviewee will be subjected to unrelenting microaggressions, petty humiliations, rudeness and disinterest.

It is common to receive little-to-no feedback from the interviewers. Phone calls and emails are not returned. You may interview for more than six months with over 10 people and never have the courtesy of an answer. Résumés (that are sent to dozens of applicable job postings) are met with silence—not even a canned, courtesy response.

It is easy to believe and internalize that this mistreatment and these empty results are only happening to you. Since this process can be so harsh, cold and impersonal, it is nearly impossible to fathom that anyone else is also subjected to this manner of shabby treatment. Thoughts of self-doubt—believing that maybe you are not as good as you once believed—creep into your mind. Perhaps, you lost your touch. You start worrying. You nervously wonder if maybe your former manager and co-workers are saying negative things or engaging in backstabbing.

Since our culture does not reward failure, it is not comfortable to share your self-doubts with others. Keeping it to yourself further fuels the doubts, shakes your core confidence and feelings of insecurity arise.

Don’t worry; it’s not just you. In fact, almost everyone goes through this. It is actually the norm. You wouldn’t know it because nobody likes talking about these issues. We love discussing victories and talk about the winners, but so readily avoid those who struggle. You don’t have to succumb to our warped view of success and failure. Shut out the noise of the pompous people who brag about their great jobs, lives and ballooning bank accounts.

I’ll help you focus on what you need to do right now to improve your mental health and mindset to get back on track. Here is how to gain back your confidence and build up your internal fortitude to keep moving forward.

• Push for feedback from anyone you dealt with in the interview process.
• Talk to friends to compare experiences.
• Ask your recruiter for their honest opinions of you.
• Keep a positive attitude.
• Don’t give up.
• Remind yourself of all your positive traits.
• Get recommendation letters from past managers.
• Ask the hiring managers and human resources professional why you were not selected.
• Work on your interviewing skills.
• Practice your elevator pitch.
• Analyze the type of jobs you are applying and interviewing for to see if they are appropriate.
• Ask someone to engage in a mock interview and get their opinions and constructive criticisms.
• Consider your tone; do you come across arrogant or condescending?
• Remind yourself continually that this is happening to everyone and not just you.
• Try not to get too high when the process is going well or too dejected when things look bleak.
• Keep a balanced mood and mindset.
• Fight through the feelings of inadequacy.
• Even if you still harbor negative emotions, force yourself to push forward.
• If you give up, nothing will change. However, if you keep fighting, you will ultimately succeed.

By forcing feedback, welcoming constructive criticism, talking about your feelings, remaining calm, analyzing your search process, working on your presentation and trying to stay motivated and positive, you will feel empowered to improve and thrive.